I believe I changed my mind

‘Head to one of your favourite blogs. Write a companion piece to their penultimate post.’

Today’s writing prompt ties in nicely with the fact that I was just admiring Wendi’s beautiful post ‘I Believe’, which you can read here.

My companion piece isn’t going to be as lovely, because I’ve started thinking about the things I no longer believe, but maybe that will encourage me to remember the things I do!

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I used to believe in karma (what you give is what you get returned – ahem, that’s not my line). However, bad things happen to good people. Then again, bad things also happen to bad people. And I completely believe that putting good into the world is the right thing to do – and not for the fear of what might come to you otherwise. If we’re going to be selfish, I believe it simply makes us feel better to do so. Kindness is one of the best, most underrated qualities in the world.

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I used to believe that hard work led to success. Now I think this is naïve. There are far more people out there who work hard and don’t get what they’re hoping for than those who do. Plus, being able to work hard for something you want is a privilege; many people have to do what they have to to get by.

However, I have adjusted my idea of success. Being financially secure is important, but it’s never been the most important thing for me. I believe in being able to find a job to love, but I also believe in finding good people to spend our own time with.

[I believe I don’t really care about prepositions at the end of sentences.]

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I used to believe George Eliot when she said, ‘It’s never too late to be who you might have been.’ Now I know it’s a pretty line, but I’m never going to be a ballerina or an F1 driver or a gymnast. Although perhaps that’s not exactly what she meant…

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I used to believe that I would marry one specific boy from school and could not envision a future in which we didn’t marry and have babies. Now I can’t entertain the idea of a future in which we do!

I believe in marriage, not necessarily in a religious sense, but I believe that people can commit to each other, even when everything is constantly changing (including us). Then again, I also believe in divorce: my parents were both married and divorced before they met each other; they are still together. I believe that some things can last forever.

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Finally, I used to completely believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes now I wonder if that is a way of consoling myself when things don’t go as planned. With enough time, perhaps we can always look back and find a silver lining to the darker moments.

However, I then think about the teacher who made the timetable that forced me to take Spanish, which led to me studying languages at university. I remember my (somewhat tipsy) pinky-promise to move to France with my friend, where I had some one of the most significant times of my life – and met the girl who told me about the house share where I’m living now. I think about the day when I heard about the house share and was offered work experience, and how that paved my way to London.

If you were to look back, I bet you could pick out several seemingly insignificant moments or snap decisions or more obvious lucky breaks that affected the course of your whole life. And you don’t have to believe in destiny to think that’s both amazing and terrifying!

I’m happy to have reached a time when I can look back on these little moments and bigger events and be grateful they have led me here. I believe I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.

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