All these clothes and nothing to wear

Hello. I’m still here. I’ve not written in a while, so my first post should really be something very thoughtful, considered and well-written, perhaps worthy of being Freshly Pressed or, you know, winning a Pulitzer. Unfortunately the longer I leave it to write, the more pressure I feel for it to be good, but now I’ve left it too long and I’m not that good, so I’m just going to write about my problems with clothes.

Just to be clear, this is not going to be some kind of manifesto advocating a nudist society. I would hate that more. This is just me complaining about the issues I face as a non-fashion-savvy woman in a world of clothes seemingly ill-designed for everyday life.

Putting together an outfit. Yes, the daily act of getting dressed is a chore. Managing to coordinate a top and trousers or skirt or dress, plus shoes and a bag and a jacket, and sometimes scarf and gloves, is an exercise in organisation that should not be underestimated.

Black and navy. I will put together a decent black skinny jeans/top combo, then pick up my navy handbag. Then do a last-minute switch to another bag (which I’m supposed to have stopped using as it’s really past it), forgetting the card that will allow me to get into the office.

Sizes are not standard. A 12 in one shop is an 8 in another. I’m not going to start any kind of size debate, because I’m not under the impression that I’m any smaller than I am; the inconsistency is just irritating.

From where I stand - autumn

Shoe sizes are wrong. While I might have accepted that I’m no longer the dress size I was ten years ago, I don’t accept shoe sizes. When European sizes were first added to shoes, a UK 7 was a 41; now it’s often a 40. I already have big enough feet without sizes shrinking, thank you very much.

Heels. I have one pair of comfy heels. Yes, stop the press – I know it’s difficult to believe, but they are. And they work so well with longer length skirts! However, I’ve now walked one of the heels right off them, so replacing these will be a right pain in the foot.

Shoes in general. Many shoes are not feet-shaped. Unless everyone else actually does have two narrow ovals for feet, then it’s just me.

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This handbag never makes me angry though.

 

Stuff that needs ironed doesn’t get worn. I have some lovely clothes. It’s just unfortunate if items need ironed, because then they sit in the ‘to be ironed’ pile for around four months.

Hand washing. I have hand-washed clothes precisely twice in my life. I am genuinely that ‘adult’ that takes hand-wash-only items home with me and asks my mum to do it, and I now live seven hours away, so these items are probably not getting worn again.

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I wear the same clothes on rotation. I have accidentally developed a work uniform, as I only have around seven outfits that are suitable for the sauna that is my office/don’t need ironed/don’t clash. Perhaps I should just accept this and eliminate those five minutes of indecision from my morning.

My body temperature is about five hundred degrees. The day begins on the train, crammed with a thousand commuters emanating body heat, and the train companies inexplicably blasting yet more heat into the carriages. The office is a steady 25 degrees, summer or winter, according to the thermometer. I’m pretty sure it’s hotter than that in the afternoons. I think I have heat intolerance. Then you go out for a few hours, suddenly it’s 11 p.m. and you’re freezing all the way home.

General weather issues. All my pretty, floaty dresses are useless most days in London, when the wind would cause too many Marilyn moments. When it rains, the backs of my legs get splattered with muddy rain water, as I seem to walk wrong. When it’s sunny, I’ve probably forgotten my sunglasses and am contributing to my crow’s feet.

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Ah, my Trek America clothes. So much easier to dress for the weather when it’s almost consistently beautiful.

Dressing for a whole day’s events is difficult. I have going-out dresses and work dresses, but only really one office-to-out dress. And most of the time I am going from the office, so I really need to start buying more efficient outfits.

Tights. I like the effect of tights. I just hate wearing them.

And these are the nuisances faced after the initial challenge: actually finding clothes you want to buy!

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Anyway, apologies for the tangent. I have still been keeping up with some of my 2016 goals – visiting new places, seeing new shoes and reading great books – but I need to work on the rest because soon it will be time for a half-year round-up! Where is 2016 going?!

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